
ratgrrl asked: I recently re-connected with a guy I was friends with like 20 years ago via the internet. We were close friends in our teens and have kept in touch sporadically over the years. We have both felt some romantic interest in the past, however the timing was always wrong…either he was with someone or I was, etc. so nothing ever moved beyond friendship.
I have been divorced for three years and he just barely got divorced this month. We have talked about perhaps going beyond friendship this time, but his divorce is so fresh that he has not breached the topic of dating again to his ex-wife.
My question: Do you really need to let your ex-spouse know you’re going to start dating again once you are divorced???
They do share custody of a child, but we’ve agreed that I wouldn’t even meet the child until such time as we knew the relationship was going to be serious.
Am I wrong here? Does this seem odd? How long should I give him to tell his wife he wants to date someone?
In reading some of your comments, let me add that, other than the occasional email to chat/catch up over the years, I was most emphatically not involved before their divorce. I have been a cheated on wife, so I would never, ever go there.
Also, let me add that I’m in no hurry to date this guy…I just thought it was odd for him to talk about taking it beyond friendship but then throw in how he’d have to let his ex-wife know he was going to start dating again first and wondered it if was a red flag for anyone other than me…I sure didn’t tell my ex-husband that I was going to start dating again!!
We’re all in our 40′s, if that helps at all…
Oh, and she was the one who wanted to divorce him, after several years of counseling. They were separated for a year and a half prior to the divorce.
Thanks to all who answered. I’ll be remaining just friends with this person…I don’t want to take the chance of being a rebound.
Internet Divorce